Love

Love brings us together and true love holds us together.

In the past week I am reminded of this in a thousand ways small and large, as I gather with family and friends north of San Diego, for R’s niece’s wedding… and some serious hanging out and goofing around. Thank you so much to Lisa and Jay, the bride’s mom and dad, for hospitality the likes of which I have never before known.

Every evening we get together for dinner, no fractious groups here. It turns out cooking for twenty five (more or less) is not such a big deal. If you have help. When it is the New Mexico Contingent’s turn, that afternoon a few of us roll up our sleeves in the kitchen. Four giant pans of enchiladas materialize as do pots full of frijoles (bacon fat rules) and calabacitas and… When I ask, “what can I do?” Lisa has the nerve to request I make her award winning chocolate cake, that is, the one which so handily beat mine in the Chocolate Cake Throw Down. That she would entrust me with this is perhaps the ultimate compliment, nonetheless I give her a ration of grief and we all laugh and I make the cake. Except for sticking to the pan, I think it comes out better than when she made it for the Throw Down. Ha Ha! Not really, but I had to put that in there to get a rise out of you, Lisa.

The word dinner doesn’t do justice for what we had. Feast is more like it. Great spreads of food are set out family style. How else? Grilled steaks, steaming casseroles, salads, there’s enough for seconds and there is always dessert. There is Australian rum, and a selection of French red wines which may spoil me for life. Food is love. We dine and drink, stories and joking and laughter go on until the wee hours. Each of us knowing we are loved, goes to bed satisfied, tired, and happy.

Nine of us come from Australia, fully the other side of the world to be here. What a great thing. We’re all the same in the big ways and different in the small ones. Spending time with people who see and do things in a different manner opens our minds to the possibilities. Immediately we are friends, we are family. Thanks to you for the Aussie BBQ, full of familiar and new tastes. The sponge cake with strawberries and banana is unforgettable.

Early one morning I am the first up and the house is quiet. While making coffee I look out the window and see a hot air balloon, silent and ethereal, rising up from the hills. Another two or three appear, the kids wake up, “look! look!” they exclaim, and soon we are all out in the back yard, looking at, watching these colorful wonders.

Poppa and his granddaughters hoot and tease in a game of “MY POOL!” where he plays a very convincing hot tub ruling sea monster and picks the girls up, all gangly arms and legs going in all directions, and deftly tosses them into the relatively icy waters of the swimming pool. There is shrieking and growling and slippery as seals the girls wriggle their way back for more and more. He plays water balloon with the girls and laughs; complete delight on everyone’s faces. Poppa naps on the sofa with his youngest curled in his arms. It is so rare men are allowed to be tender and affectionate and silly, yet it is so good for us to behave in these ways. Girls can bring these qualities out of us; we are all blessed with relationships and times like these.

George, the bridegroom’s dad, is originally from Greece. Having been at it for a millennia or three, the Greeks are pretty good at philosophy. We sit at the table after dinner one evening and talk. “The material things mean nothing to me,” he says. Pausing and looking directly at me he repeats with emphasis, “nothing.” George slowly points one hand around the room. All these people, our people, are together and having fun, loitering in the kitchen trading recipes, playing hot games of foosball, focusing on a challenging shot at pool and crying mock anguish at missing it. “This is it. This is beautiful,” he says. Tears well in his eyes.

Many of us have only met in the past day or two. It is remarkable but then it is not that the room is full of good will. “We all love one another.” I say.

We are quiet for a moment. George then says, “Life is simple. It is our expectations and perceptions that make it complicated.” He smiles and gives me a hug. Another thing the Greeks know about is cooking. Thank you George for that roast leg of lamb. Από τους Θεούς!

Missy and Dave, we have you to thank for bringing us together. You two who met and fell in love and decided to marry. It is plain to see, amid all the goings on and hustle and bustle you are immensely happy. Joy is infectious and thank goodness for that. Not often do I describe a guy as radiant, but on the day of the big event both Missy and Dave are radiant. You are beautiful, and an inspiration to us all. It is an honor to be among those gathered. Your vows touch our hearts. We celebrate, we toast and eat and drink and dance to your and all true love.

Gordon Bunker